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All articles in category: "butt,funny,game,gaming,gross,Japanese"

Boong-Ga Boong-Ga.

Jun 27th 2003

By: sushibandit

No comments

This is one of the most bizarre video games i’ve ever seen, and so of course it must be Japanese. The object of the game appears simple, you have to jam a big plastic finger up someone’s rear end. Why? I have no idea. Built into the cabinet is a bent over backside, and on the screen in front of you appears the expression of the person as you shove the finger inside. The harder you shove the finger inside, the more points you score. From the brochure: “This is a fun game of spanking the people that make your life miserable. When you spank the character that you choose to punish, the face expression of the character will change as they scream and twitch in pain. The funny face expressions will make people laugh and relieve stress.” Riiiight. Well in any case it has made me laugh. Although I don’t understand why they call it “spanking”, since you’re actually shoving a finger in someones butthole. Characters include: Ex Girlfriend, Ex Boyfriend, Gangster, Mother-In-Law, Gold Digger, Prostitute, Child Molester, and Con Artist.

They should also include: your ex-Gay Lover, Your Boss and President Bush.

butt, funny, game, gaming, gross, Japanese
NZ votes to legalise prostitution

Jun 26th 2003

By: sushibandit

No comments

New Zealand’s parliament has voted to legalise prostitution by a margin of just one vote. As well as decriminalising prostitution, the new law will establish a legal framework for the sex industry, with licensed brothels operating under strict health, safety and employment guidelines. Transgender Labour MP Georgina Beyer, a former prostitute, said: “If I’d had a law like this to protect me when I was 16 or 17, then I may have been spared the five or so years I spent in the industry.” “This is about accepting what occurs, about accepting that the people who work in this industry deserve some human rights,” the New Zealand Herald newspaper quoted her as saying.

So, why dont we have a Transgender Congressman yet?

New Zealand, news, sex
Pakistan tackles killer kites

Jun 26th 2003

By: sushibandit

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Kite flyers in Pakistan’s Punjab Province will face murder charges and a possible death penalty if their sharpened strings cause more deaths. Several people have had their throats cut this year by strings that are either metallic or coated with abrasive materials. Police throughout the province have now been instructed to treat such deaths as murder cases. Kite flyers use metallic strings or coat them with glass shards to take part in “dog fights” where the objective is to cut their opponent’s string. The Punjab chief minister’s adviser on law and human rights, Rana Ejaz Ahmad Khan, announced the move on Tuesday. Mr Khan said dangerous kite flying practices had forced the government to take this extreme measure. Some of the victims were young children, he said. Basant festival Mr Khan said the government had the authority to count chemically-finished and metallic strings as offensive weapons. Police have been instructed to carry out raids on shops selling banned strings and make arrests. People have also been killed or injured falling from buildings or by walking into the paths of cars while flying kites or gazing at them in the sky.

Is nothing sacred?

funny, game, Pakistan, silly
Women busted for unqualified colon cleansing

Jun 24th 2003

By: sushibandit

No comments

A Tokyo beauty salon operator has been busted for conducting unqualified “colon cleansing” on hundreds of women. Kiyomi Anzai, the operator of the “Grace” beauty shop, reportedly pocketed some 88 million yen in three years since opening her shop in Tokyo. A former Grace employee, Katsue Saito, was also arrested, both on charges of breaking the Medical Practitioners Law because only doctors are allowed to professionally insert an instrument into a person’s anus.

In fact our local city college has a certificate program in “Begining Colon Cleansing” and “Advanced Colon Cleansing”… swab that deck!

butt, crap, Japan, Japanese
Two in coma after being trampled in naked festival

Jun 23rd 2003

By: sushibandit

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Two men were rendered comatose when dozens of revelers stampeded over them during a 1,230-year-old festival in Nagoya, Japan. A staggering 9,000 men took part in the event, called “hadaka matsuri” or festival for naked men at Konomiya Shrine in Inazawa, Aichi Prefecture, while 125,000 others looked on. The festival requires the naked participants to touch the “deity man” to drive out evil spirits. Thursday’s event reached its climax as hundreds of men rushed to the designated deity man. The two men fell down as dozens of others stampeded over them. A total of 38 people including two women, fell sick or were injured and required medical attention.

I have three questions. 1. What on the “Deity Man” did they touch?… 2. Were the women running with the guys or just watching?… 3. Does their insurance cover being trampled over by naked men?

culture, Japan, Japanese, news, nude, odd
Graffiti guerilla says ‘Life is a Fart’

Jun 20th 2003

By: sushibandit

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A musician was arrested Thursday after he forced his way into the Education Ministry compound before dawn and scribbled “Life is a Fart” on one of the building’s main columns, police said. The man, whose name is being withheld, was unrepentant. “The name, ‘the Ministry of Education,’ sprang to mind when I was looking for a place to do a bit of graffiti”. A taxi driver spotted the 27-year old man climbing over the locked main gate of the ministry compound in Tokyo’s Kasumigaseki district shortly after 4 a.m. and called police. When the officers arrived, they spotted the man sitting in front of the ministry’s main entrance, examining the three columns on which he had just scrawled messages in black paint.

He speaks the truth!

fart, funny, news, silly
President to wear fight suit at all public functions

Jun 19th 2003

By: sushibandit

No comments

June 19, 2003 (Happy Birthday Lisa!)

Washington — President Bush made remarks at the annual Congressional Picnic on the South Lawn yesterday wearing the flight suit that he donned for his historic landing on the USS Lincoln in May. White House officials said that the President would wear the suit at every public function until election day in 2004. Advisers said that the decision was made based on the success of Bush’s flight to the aircraft carrier and the lengthy discussion it spurred on how “macho,” “studly,” and “hung” it made the President look. “To be honest, the idea came to us because he was already wearing the flight suit around the residence and at all his meetings. There’s a rumor that he even sleeps in it,” a White House source said. “So we knew it made him feel comfortable, and we knew the positive reaction it got with soccer-moms and homosexuals around the country.” Meanwhile, pundits were busy praising the President and his aides’ decision on cable television. “Not only does he have every woman’s vote in the United States of America, but he has the envy of every man in the country. Size does count, and everyone at the annual Congressional Picnic got a real treat,” G. Gordon Liddy said on MSNBC’s Hardball. “Oh mama, just look at his package! Put the children to bed!”

George Bush, parody
9-year-old girl marries dog in India

Jun 19th 2003

By: sushibandit

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A 9-year-old girl was married to a stray dog in a ceremony attended by more than 100 guests in a village in India’s eastern state of Bengal as part of a ritual intended to ward off a bad omen, newspapers reported Thursday. The girl, Karnamoni Handsa, had to be married quickly to break an evil spell, according to the beliefs of her Santhal tribe in the remote village of Khanyan, the Hindustan Times said. Karnamoni’s tooth had grown on her upper gum, which Santhals consider a bad omen. The girl’s father, Baburam Handsa, a poor sharecropper, could not afford the expenses of marrying his daughter to a boy, so he saved money by making a street dog the groom on June 11, the paper reported. Other news media also reported on the ritual, which does not interfere with the girl’s life. She suffers no stigma and is free to marry later. She doesn’t even need to divorce the dog.

Boy, you can’t do that in Mississippi! So I wonder, is she now the Dog’s Bitch?

culture, girl, India, stupid
Teen dies while giving ‘finger’ to pursuing cops

Jun 18th 2003

By: sushibandit

No comments

A Japanese teen-age motorcycle rider died Wednesday as he turned to give the finger to police officers who had given up pursuing him and slammed into a taxi, police said. A 20-year-old friend of the 19-year-old unnamed boy killed in the crash also sustained a broken jaw. The driver of the taxi into which the motorcycle rider crashed was not hurt. Police said officers in a patrol car noticed the motorcycle riders had ignored a traffic light shortly after midnight, so turned on their siren and began chasing them. But the motorcycle was able to maneuver the narrow roads far easier than the patrol car and soon sped off some hundreds of meters ahead of the police. Realizing the chase was futile, officers turned off their wailing sirens. The two students riding the motorcycle turned around toward the officers and gave them the finger.

insane, Japanese, story, stupid
Railway buff killed with ear to the tracks

Jun 17th 2003

By: sushibandit

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A Japanese teen-age railway buff was fatally hit by a train while he was crouching on the tracks listening for approaching trains, police said Sunday. At around 3:10 p.m., the 40-year-old driver of a local train bound for Kozu from Numazu on the Gotenba Line spotted a boy with his ear to the track, and applied the emergency brakes, police said. However, the driver was not able to stop the train before hitting him near at a crossing in the Higashitanaka district of Gotenba. The boy was killed instantly.

I figure he was either deaf, a big Johnny Cash fan (I can hear that train a-coming), or his ear was super-glued to the track in a bizarre tripping accident on his way home from the model shop.

Japanese, Train, weird
Homer Simpson Voted Greatest American

Jun 17th 2003

By: sushibandit

No comments

Cartoon character Homer Simpson topped the poll of the greatest Americans, beating Abraham Lincoln and Martin Luther King to the top spot. A survey published today has found nearly two-thirds of the world doesn’t like US president George W Bush. The survey – carried out for the BBC – asked people from eleven countries what they thought of America. ICM and other international pollsters asked people in Australia, Canada, Brazil, France, Indonesia, Israel, Jordan, Russia, South Korea, the United Kingdom and the United States for their opinions. Americans as a whole did better, however, with 50% of respondents expressing fairly or very favorable views of people from the US.

Maybe we should run him for president!

story, The Simpsons
Australian brothel offers pensioners discount

Jun 16th 2003

By: sushibandit

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“All other businesses offer pensioners a discount, so we thought if we also offered pensioners a 5% discount they might come more often,” according to Niel Campbell, owner of the Viper Room, a brothel in the Australian city of Brisbane. “About 20% of weekend clients to the Viper Room are men of pensionable age. One client is as old as 80 and all his staff were trained in first aid and resuscitation techniques. If there was an incident where someone had a heart attack, they would be well looked after until help arrived,” he said. Initially, the pensioners’ discount will only apply on Sundays, although Mr Campbell said the offer might be extended if it proved successful. “We get a lot of seniors in, especially on the weekends. Sunday is a big day for pensioners to go out and relax,” he said. “They usually come in and see us before their day out at the bowling club or golf day.”

Change my retirement plans and forget Florida, Brisbane here I cum!

Australia, sex, silly
Saddam Hussein Building Army of Evil Robots

Jun 13th 2003

By: sushibandit

No comments

Iraqimerica — Supreme enemy Saddam Osama bin Hussein-Laden is presiding over a massive effort to rebuild his army of darkness in the form of evil robots and disgusting genetic engineering experiments. Hussein has been spotted flying a mobile terrorlab north of Baghdad, and he has $1.3 billion in cash to fund his twisted revenge against America. “He’s put a price on American soldiers. He will pay bounty for every American soldier taken prisoner for use as personal servants,” an Inner-Party member said. Survelience photos obtained by the Party show thousands of lifeless robots standing at attention in a huge underground base, waiting for Hussein’s order to invade America.

funny, Iraq, parody
Australia bans mobiles from pools

Jun 12th 2003

By: sushibandit

No comments

Mobiles are to be banned from swimming pools and changing rooms across Australia amid fears that camera phones are being used to take nude and semi-nude pictures. The ban will affect more than 300 gyms, pools and sports centres across the country run by the YMCAs of Australia. The Royal Life Saving Society of Australia has also advised a further 3,000 public swimming pools to introduce a similar ban. It is hoped the move will protect the privacy of both adult and children using the facilities. There have been cases around the world of people using camera phones to take illicit photographs and more and more public places are moving to ban their use. In Japan, some fitness centres ban the use of camera phones and the Italian information commissioner has issued guidelines on where and how such phones can be used. Several councils in Northern Ireland have banned such phones from their leisure centers as have a number of swimming pools in Jersey, England. In Saudi Arabia camera phones are banned altogether.

Australia, stupid, tech
Tom ‘the Sky is Falling’ Ridge and his new colors

Jun 11th 2003

By: sushibandit

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Last week Tom Ridge announced that his ridiculous color-coded alert scheme has “drawbacks.” Um, what, you mean like unnecessarily terrifying half the population and being laughed at by the other half? No, Ridge thinks that the alerts are “too general to provide targeted warnings,” according to the Associated Press. Great – so does this mean we can look forward to Green, Light Green, Aqua, Blue, Yellow, Sepia, Burnt Sienna, Orange, Dark Orange, Red, Brown? I hope so! However, some people have noted that during the Orange Alerts we’ve been subjected to over the last few months, there haven’t been any actual terrorism attempts, so perhaps either a) the intelligence isn’t very good, in which case why bother with a stupid threat level, or b) they’ve got other reasons for elevating the level – for example, it’s the kind of thing that comes in useful when you’re trying to persuade America that we need to bomb other countries. I’ve got a better idea though. Whenever the threat level is elevated above yellow, we should raise Tom Ridge up on a large flagpole, with his pants round his ankles and wearing a dunce’s cap, and then pelt him with tomatoes until the level is lowered to yellow again.

politics, rant, story, stupid, terrorism
N.J. woman fined for crude comment on check

Jun 11th 2003

By: sushibandit

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A woman’s decision to write an offensive comment on her check when she paid a parking ticket has proven costly: She had to pay an additional $100 fine for contempt of court. Eva Sas, 24, made an anatomical reference in the memo portion of the $22 check she mailed to the New Brunswick Municipal Court. She received the contempt summons last month after Ralph Stanzione, the city’s chief judge, refused to accept her check. “Maybe what I did was a bit immature or disrespectful, but it’s my right, and it’s not illegal,” Sas said. A 1999 directive from the state judiciary, which oversees municipal courts, prohibits judges from penalizing citizens for writing obscene comments. Court officials would not comment on why the order was not followed in this case.

What did she say? Blow your Nose?

New Jersey, news, silly
White House finds economist who believes tax cut will improve economy

Jun 4th 2003

By: sushibandit

No comments

Washington — President Bush signed the third-largest tax cuts in U.S. history Wednesday, then introduced the only economist in the world who believes that the plan will actually help create jobs and provide growth to the economy. “He’s not really that much of a talker, but he knows his stuff about the economy. Do you have anything to say about my growth plan, uh, Little Joe?” asked the President. “Why, sure! This tax cut will be a real boost to our economy,” Little Joe said in a high-pitched voice that seemed to come from President Bush. “I say this will help create jobs and provide needed stimulus, all thanks to me — uh, the President!” The 10-year, $350 billion package of tax cuts was less than half the amount Bush had originally proposed. The White House hopes the cuts, the third of his presidency, will revive the economy and bolster his own political future. “Tax cuts are sure great, huh?! Too bad the congress wouldn’t let the President do what he really wanted,” Little Joe said. “I guess they just don’t want to help regular folk who need more money these days.” Little Joe’s high-profile endorsement of the President’s plan for the economy will be used to counter attacks on the tax cut from Democrats who don’t enjoy having more money.

George Bush, parody
Virgin halts ‘chastity auction’

Jun 3rd 2003

By: sushibandit

No comments

A PERUVIAN philosophy student took her virginity off the auction block after an anonymous benefactor lent her the tuition money she lacked. ‘Sandy,’ 21, told the “W” radio network by telephone that a sympathetic woman had lent her $US2,800 ($4,271). She expressed relief at withdrawing her virginity from the internet auction she had announced last week. Bidding opened at $US1,000 ($1,525). She guaranteed her offer with a doctor’s certificate that her hymen was intact. The auction had received thousands of email bids from all over the world. However a woman had offered to lend her nearly three times that amount, without conditions. “She understood me more than others and decided to help me because she has a daughter like me,” she said. She insisted she was not a prostitute. Rather, giving up her virginity was the only way to defray her tuition.

I think selling yourself is becoming a college fad (see my May 30th blog) …so I wonder what is next?

news, romance, sex, South America
My Green Fiasco

Jun 2nd 2003

By: sushibandit

No comments

So the whole thing about a Blog is to write something everyday… so this is how my weekend went. Saturday was full of cleaning the house and playing Zelda on my GameCube. I think its the best game ever.

Sunday was spent preparing for my run for office. I have been getting involved with the Green Party and felt it was time to stand-up and run for one of 2 vacant party council seats. I wrote up a position paper with my qualifications for office and what I think is important for the party to grow. Went to the meeting, did my speech and with the 2 other candidates had a question and answer session. After it was over I felt really good about my presentation and answers and felt good about winning a seat. So everyone voted in a preference of 1,2, & 3 place, and being as unselfish as possible I voted for my opponents 1 & 2 before me. All I had to do was to come in 2nd and I would get a seat. Well they announced the tally and I was shocked. I not only did I come in dead last, but I only got 2 votes to their 13 and 11! I even lost in the 2nd place preference. I got SPANKED. So what do I take away from this? Maybe Im too middle of the road for them. You know.. not Tree hugging enough. Or they did not like it that I am involved in the construction industry. Or I didnt wear a beret or an anti-war tee-shirt (I had a nice Hawaiian shirt).

So where do I go from here. I dont know. But I probably will not go to another Green Party meeting for awhile.

politics, rant