As you know I am a VERY observant guy. I have seen many girls stand around and talk about being bloated. “Can you see how Bloated I am? Just look at me! I wasn’t like that this-morning. I just feel so disgusted and sooo bloated”.
In fact, girls like to get together and compare how bloated they are.
My personal research on this subject is quite extensive since I have a wife, 3 daughters, and a long history as a “Ladies Man.” I came to realize that the swelling of Bloat Gland is directly related to a girl’s bitchy-ness. In fact I have developed a scale to measure this. It is called the “Bloat-O-Bitch” scale.
0-4 – Everything is OK.
5-7 – Girls start bitching that they can not get into the jeans they wore yesterday.
8 – They start crying because they are getting fat and nothing fits anymore.
9 – All men are advised to leave the room immediately since they will become the subject of an unbearable tirade about how it’s their fault she is like this.
10 – Well need I say any more? It gets too graphic for this page!
The only things that reduce bloating is time, a spoon, and a gallon of Ice Cream.