I was Armed to the Teeth!!
Michael Chertoff, the Homeland Security mega weeine and his TSA cronies STOLE MY TOOTHPASTE!!
I was traveling via plane from one secret destination to another last weekend. I had purchased a new tube of Crest (or was it Colgate?) and put it in my ditty-bag with my other groming supplies. I remembered not to take my trimming sizzors, nail clippers and extra fuses, cause I didnt want to have a cavity search at the airport again.
So I got through the screening fine and went on my trip. On my return it was a different matter. They pulled my carry-on bag to the side and proceeded to open it up (without my premision I might add). I warned the pimply faced TSA guy that my bag was full of dirty underware but he did not stop! You see, he knew that I had a tube of slightly used toothpaste, and Chertoff wanted it!
They tell me that I could only have 3 ounces of the shit and my tube was 7.6 ounces. So I told the guy that they passed it through the airport I was at 2 days before. He didnt give a fuck. He wanted it to give to Chertoff cause he was too cheap to buy his own.
OK now I’m PISSED, “Call your supervisor” I told the wimp who I’m sure had never been laid.
Then the “super” came over and word-for-word told me that same thing. So I told him word-for-word what I said to pee-wee. He would’nt budge. So they took my tube. FUCK YOU Chertoff!
So next time I travel I’m going to buy a 3 ounce tube of Colgate and put a fuse in it..
Oh, ever notice that you never-ever see Chertoff’s teeth?!