All articles in category: "art,food,funny"
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I Love Kids Too!
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My Website’s Error Pages for Users of Internet Explorer 6
If you havn’t see these before then your cool!
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Why I Joined the Peace Corps
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Man fails to make friend’s wife pregnant – gets sued
A judge in Stuttgart Germany must decide this week on a case where a man hired his neighbor to get his wife pregnant.
Demetrius Soupolos (29) and his former beauty queen wife Traute (26), wanted a child but was told by doctors he was sterile. After calming his wife’s protests Demetrius hired his neighbor, Frank Maus (34) to impregnate her. Since Frank was already married and the father of two children, the plan seemed good.
Demetrius paid Frank 2,500 euros for the job and for three evenings a week for six months Frank tried a total of 72 different times to impregnate Traute. When his own wife objected he explained, “I don’t like this any more than you. I’m simply doing it for the money.”
When Traute failed to get pregnant, Demetrius insisted that Frank have a medical exam. The doctor’s announcement that Frank was also sterile shocked everyone… except his wife. She then confessed that Frank was not the father of their two children.
Now Demetrius is suing Frank for breach of contract in order to get his money back. Frank is refusing stating he did not guarantee conception, only that he would give it an honest effort.
I guess it looks like everyone got fucked in this deal!
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The Heimlich Maneuver
Once, when I was in New York City, I went to the library. I said, “I’d like a book on the Heimlich anti-choking maneuver,” and the guy said, “Look at the card catalog. I’m busy.” So I go to the card catalog. I look under Heimlich and choking and maneuver. It’s not any of those places. And I see this first aid book with the section and I take it and that guy said, “It’s a reference book. You can’t take it out; you have to Xerox it.” I said, “Do you have change for a dollar?” He said, “It’s not a bank, it’s a library.” So I go to this souvenir stand and I said, “Do you have change for a dollar?” They said, “It’s not a bank, it’s a souvenir stand.” So I go to this bank, and they said, “Yes, this is a bank.” And they give me the change and I go back to the libary. By this time there’s a line of students Xeroxing their books and whatever and I — finally get to Xerox the Heimlich. As I go back the guy says, “Put it back, now that you’ve used it.” So I put it back. And as I leave, he says, “Thank you.” I said, “Well, thank you! I’m never coming to this barn again.” And I went back to my car. Now by this time, my sister’s almost purple from the chicken bone…
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Today Olivia Munn sent me a Maxim Magazine
She made #96 of Maxum’s Top 100 hottest women of the world. Thanks Olivia, you’re too sweet!
babe, G4TV, Maxim, Olivia Munn
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My New "Green" Stove!
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Cashmere Sweaters
funny, sexy, Tuesday Weld, video, weird
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Erotic Desert
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Photo of my new Theater!
see the model of the “Nautilus” on the table? Ain’t it frickin cool?
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Jungle Bongo Love Dance
A Sushi Bandit Production!
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My New Bike!
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Norm Coleman is a GOP Clown
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My New Assistant
Scanning some notes for my next story.
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What’s Next?
Tea flavored Beer?
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John McCain is a Dick
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Don’t Mess With This Lady!
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Disaster Girl
Belive me, you don’t want her to show up!
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What? Even More Tongue?
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More Tongue
