Next in the series includes: “Why the scanner man want to see my butt”, “Mommy never made the flight”, and “Do you know any terrorists?”
I normally don’t complain but lately I have lost my patience with all the exceptionally stupid people around me. For example, I am at the airport and a woman in front of me cant get it through her head that you have to take off all your “Bling” to get through the scanner. It took her 5 times. Back and forth and in and out of the machine before she finally had everything out and into the provided tray. Then I get to the gate and they announce boarding for 1st class passengers (like me). About 10 people rush up to the ticket taker only to be told it was not their turn yet.
“Why cant I board now?” Cause you’re fucking stupid!
Maybe they should change things at the airport so all the exceptionally stupid people have their own line. I can hear it now, “now boarding families with small children, passengers with wheelchairs, and exceptionally stupid people.”
Yes, My 1st Crush was a PSA stewardess. She was perfect, in her go-go mini dress, teased hair and the sexy, silky manner in which she talked. She was the epitome of the “coffee, tea, or me” era. I loved watching her put things into the overhead compartments. How I loved my isle seat.
Screw that old balding man, come pay attention to me!
So we are all sitting on the tarmac on Maui after the mule pushed us away from the gate awaiting the short flight to Honolulu. But why aren’t we going anywhere? We’re just sitting. Five minutes become ten minutes and not a word from the cockpit. Then we saw several fire trucks come across the field. “It looks like they are heading our way!” WTF! Is the plane on fire? Should we get ready to evacuate? Then they drove right past us to the other end of the airport. Whew! They were only on a training exercise.
So now the pilot comes on the PA. “Sorry folks but our computer has a glitch and we need to re-boot the plane.” Re-boot the plane? Now that is a first for me. He continued, “we will have to shut down all the systems and re-start them in sequence.” “It should only take ten minutes and then we will be off to Honolulu.”
Sure enough that’s what they did. The engines went off, the AC shout down and it got real quiet. Then things started to hum and blow again and our Mokulele Airlines Embraer “E-jet” flight MW203 was off! I gotta admit the plane is new and very cool. Since it uses fly-by-wire technology it makes sense that they needed to re-boot it. My only hope is that they never have to re-boot in the air!
I wonder, do they still call it a “Cockpit” if there is a lady pilot?
Norway’s Civil Aviation Administration Avinor has accused cod (fish) of threatening flight safety in Svolvær.
Avinor, which owns Svolvær Airport, wants no part of plans to have live cod in enclosures in the vicinity of the runway. “The probability of a collision between planes and sea birds will increase dramatically,” Avinor said at a hearing. Avinor’s airport chief at Svolvær, Bjørn Opsahl, believes the cod will be a temptation for birds, and that feeding the fish would also attract the birds in numbers.
Local businesses had hoped to cooperate by putting live Lofoten cod in enclosures in order to increase profitability by being able to deliver fresh cod all year round.
“It sounds a bit strange that gulls and other sea birds are going eat such big fish,” said Ole Osland at L. Berg Sønner.
Toy dog causes stink
A novelty dog toy which breaks wind as it bends over sparked a major security alert at a US airport, its stunned owner said today. Designer Dave Rogerson said he could not believe what was happening to him when the life-size mechanical terrier set off an explosives detector at Norfolk airport in Virginia.
Armed security staff sprang into action after something in the dog’s “wind breaking” mechanism apparently registered as the high explosive TNT on their sensitive equipment. Rogerson, 31, from Leeds, was grilled by FBI agents and looked on in amazement as they took a series of swabs from the replica animal’s rear end.
They eventually returned the dog but stopped Rogerson taking his planned flight to Charlotte, North Carolina, and re-routed him via Philadelphia. “They told me it was the highest reading they had for explosives and they took it very seriously,” said Rogerson. “They were very jumpy and convinced there was something explosive in the dog.”
Rogerson, who was heading home from the US when the incident happened earlier this month, said he was not formally arrested but was held for a number of hours for questioning. He said the situation was made worse because he had placed his passport and boarding card under the dog as it passed through the sensor machine. When the agents demanded his papers he had to tell them they were in the isolation zone around the dog. Rogerson said: “They were very, very serious. They weren’t aggressive but I got a real grilling. “I couldn’t believe where the FBI agents were putting their swabs. “They must have got whatever it was off the dog because they let me have it back.” Rogerson said he had named the dog Norfolk, after the airport.