The sales lady at the hardware store said, “30 days.” She then smiled and said, “Unless you sit on it.”
“How will I know if it fits?” She looks at me and asks “Are your pants a 42″ waist? Then you’ll fit just fine.”
“What does my waist have to do with it? It’s my package that I’m concerned about. I cant have it hanging in the water!”
So we are going out tomorrow night…
The recent decoding of a cryptic cup, the excavation of ancient Jerusalem tunnels, and other archaeological detective work has helped solve one of the great biblical mysteries: Who wrote the Dead Sea Scrolls and why?
“Jews wrote the Scrolls not to document religious text but to lay the foundation of Jewish comedy” said archaeologist Robert Paragill. “After extensive decoding it has now become apparent that many of the riddles turned out to be ancient stand-up comedy bits. Unfortunately many of the previous researchers were trying to find some religious significance in the text when in reality it was a very large compilation of mother-in-law jokes.”
I always watch Steve very closely. His wit and timing are always immaculate. He has continually re-invented himself since the 70′s and is, in my opinion the best of our generation.
Swedish comedian Povel Ramels did musical comedy in the late 50′s and early 60′s. Too bad I couldn’t understand a fucking thing he said. It was probably very funny.