Photo: a pod of lifeless, oil covered Snorkelers floating in a large patch of oil.
Biloxi (AP): Local residents have reported seeing hundreds of dead, oil covered Gulf Coast Snorkelers washing ashore today. Authorities have noted that this is their spawning season and fear the loss might spell doom for this endangered species. When asked about their plans to rescue them an un-named official at BP responded, “Snorkelers? You’ve got to be fuckin kidding me!”
Carbon dioxide is “essentially harmless” to human beings and good for plants. So now will you stop worrying about global warming?
Utah’s House of Representatives apparently has. Officially the most Republican state in America, its political masters have adopted a resolution condemning “climate alarmists”, and disputing any scientific basis for global warming. The measure, which passed by 56-17, has no legal force, though it was predictably claimed by climate change sceptics as a great victory.
The original version of the bill dismissed climate science as a “well organised and ongoing effort to manipulate and incorporate “tricks” related to global temperature data in order to produce a global warming outcome”. It accused those seeking action on climate change of riding a “gravy train” and their efforts would “ultimately lock billions of human beings into long-term poverty”.
In the heat of the debate, the representative Mike Noel said environmentalists were part of a vast conspiracy to destroy the American way of life and control world population through forced sterilisation and abortion.
By the time the final version of the bill came to a vote, cooler heats apparently prevailed. The bill dropped the word “conspiracy”, and described climate science as “questionable” rather than “flawed”. It also called on the federal government’s Environmental Protection Agency to order an immediate halt in its moves to regulate greenhouse gas emissions “until a full and independent investigation of climate data and global warming science can be substantiated”.
I better make it a good one. It has to be something without gratuitous sex or bathroom humor with an important message for all my loyal readers.
Take advantage of the rapid warming of the world by investing in Sub-Antarctic island property! Just think, that desolate, windblown penguin populated rock in the middle of nowhere in a few years become your personal tropical island! Imagine yourself King or Queen over a the next century’s hottest commodity, virgin, unspoiled and unpopulated land.
You can now own Kerguelen Island Real Estate!
Kerguelen is also known as Desolation Island and is part of a group of islands in the southern Indian Ocean. There are no trees or shrubs on the island and is only populated by 50 very horney French researchers, birds, seals, and those always hilarious penguins! Activities abound. You can name a glacier after your favorite dog. You can participate in the islands famous sport, being blown over by the wind.. and dont forget there are no cars, planes, or boats that bring those pesky tourists. And as an added bonus, if you bring a gun you’ll have your very own army!
Just visit this website for more information: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kerguelen_Islands on how you can own your very own Sub-Antartic Isle!
Oh, and here is a personal blog about someone living there now (at least I think he is still alive) http://cancerofthethirdeye.blogspot.com/2005_05_01_archive.html
Thomas Midgley was an American chemist who invented both leaded petrol and CFCs. Though lauded during his time, he has come to be known as having “had more impact on the atmosphere than any other single organism in Earth history” and “the one human responsible for more deaths than any other in history” due to his inventions.
He eventually contracted Polio and lead poisoning and was left disabled in his bed. This caused him to create an elaborate system of pulleys and ropes in order to lift himself from bed.
He died at the age of 55 after being strangled by one of his pulleys and is notable for the fact that both his inventions, leaded petrol and his pulley operated bed, contributed to his death.
DETROIT—Ford announced a Sept. 3 rollout date for its new Ford Foresight, a hydrogen-powered SUV that, if it reaches sales projections, will deplete the earth’s supply of hydrogen by 2070.
“America has asked for a car that does not use fossil fuels, and we’ve delivered,” Ford CEO William Ford Jr. said Monday. “With an engine nearly 20 times as powerful as that of our gas-burning SUV, the 11-ton Foresight will be unaffected by the price-gouging whims of OPEC, as it uses water electrolysis to gather fuel from the oceans and the fresh mountain air.”
Ford acknowledged that, when hydrogen supplies are depleted, the usefulness of the Foresight, as well as life on earth as we know it, will end.