All articles in category: "fart,science,silly,stupid"
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Earth Fart
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Phart Art
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Charge dropped against man accused for farting
A West Virginia man accused of passing gas and fanning it toward a police officer no longer faces a battery charge. The Kanawha County prosecutor’s office requested that the charge be dropped against 34-year-old Jose Cruz.
According to a criminal complaint, Cruz passed gas and made a fanning motion toward patrolman T.E. Parsons after being taken to the police station for a breathalyzer test. Cruz denies fanning the gas and says his request to use a restroom when first arriving at the station was denied.
An assistant says Magistrate Jack Pauley signed a motion to dismiss the charge Thursday. Cruz, who was arrested Tuesday, still faces driving under the influence and other charges.
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Herrings converse via flatulence, researchers find
Herrings appear to be sociable fish who like to communicate among themselves and use their natural flatulence to do so, a team of British and Canadian researchers has reported.
“At night herring squeeze bubbles out of their swim bladders through an anal pore, producing sounds not unlike people blowing raspberries,” the team of three recounted. The Pacific species (Clupea pallasii) were found to emit distinctive bursts of pulses, known as “fast repetitive tick”, or FRT sounds, mostly at night. It was the same story with Clupea pallasii’s Atlantic cousin, Clupea harengus.
“Atlantic herring also produce FRT, or “Fart” sounds and video analysis showed an association with bubble expulsion from the anal duct region,” the researchers found. “The functions of these sounds are unknown but as the per capita rates of sound production by fish at higher densities were greater, social mediation appears likely. “These sounds may have consequences for our understanding of herring behaviour and the effects of noise pollution.”
… noise pollution?
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Toy dog causes stink
A novelty dog toy which breaks wind as it bends over sparked a major security alert at a US airport, its stunned owner said today. Designer Dave Rogerson said he could not believe what was happening to him when the life-size mechanical terrier set off an explosives detector at Norfolk airport in Virginia.
Armed security staff sprang into action after something in the dog’s “wind breaking” mechanism apparently registered as the high explosive TNT on their sensitive equipment. Rogerson, 31, from Leeds, was grilled by FBI agents and looked on in amazement as they took a series of swabs from the replica animal’s rear end.
They eventually returned the dog but stopped Rogerson taking his planned flight to Charlotte, North Carolina, and re-routed him via Philadelphia. “They told me it was the highest reading they had for explosives and they took it very seriously,” said Rogerson. “They were very jumpy and convinced there was something explosive in the dog.”
Rogerson, who was heading home from the US when the incident happened earlier this month, said he was not formally arrested but was held for a number of hours for questioning. He said the situation was made worse because he had placed his passport and boarding card under the dog as it passed through the sensor machine. When the agents demanded his papers he had to tell them they were in the isolation zone around the dog. Rogerson said: “They were very, very serious. They weren’t aggressive but I got a real grilling. “I couldn’t believe where the FBI agents were putting their swabs. “They must have got whatever it was off the dog because they let me have it back.” Rogerson said he had named the dog Norfolk, after the airport.
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Graffiti guerilla says ‘Life is a Fart’
A musician was arrested Thursday after he forced his way into the Education Ministry compound before dawn and scribbled “Life is a Fart” on one of the building’s main columns, police said. The man, whose name is being withheld, was unrepentant. “The name, ‘the Ministry of Education,’ sprang to mind when I was looking for a place to do a bit of graffiti”. A taxi driver spotted the 27-year old man climbing over the locked main gate of the ministry compound in Tokyo’s Kasumigaseki district shortly after 4 a.m. and called police. When the officers arrived, they spotted the man sitting in front of the ministry’s main entrance, examining the three columns on which he had just scrawled messages in black paint.
He speaks the truth!
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Speaking of Political Gas Bags
Did you know that the medical term for farts is “flatus”. The common term for flatus is “flatulence”. These words come from the Latin word flatus which means the act of blowing.
· The average person expels gas 14 times every day.
· The amount of actual gas released ranges from as little as one cup to as much as one half gallon per day (whew!)
And now a message from our sponsor…………
Introducing the Flat-D or the Flatulence (GAS) Deodorizer! It is the first REALISTIC solution to an age-old problem. So what is a Flat-D?? A Flat-D is a charcoal fabric pad that is placed in the underwear next to the buttocks. When worn properly, it will absorb +90% of the odors that pass thru it. It is washable, so you can get several weeks of use out of a single pad!! So you may ask, where did is come from? The cloth we use is a high tech filtering media and was originally developed for the British Chemical Defense Establishment, to provide protection to its soldiers against nerve gas and other toxic vapors associated with chemical warfare. To order or more info visit our website at http://www.flat-d.com
It is my intent to mail one to every politician in Washington and requesting, no DEMANDING that they wear on over their face. Hopefully this will cut down on the dirty politics, or at least improve the air quality.
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Flatulence Test Sniffs Out Gut Bugs
UK scientists say a hi-tech test focused on flatus — the pungent gas emanating from stool — is highly effective in quickly identifying tough-to-spot viral or bacterial infections of the gut. “There are very specific (chemical) ‘fingerprints’ in the gas, so that you can make specific diagnoses very quickly,” lead researcher Dr. Christopher Probert, of the University of Bristol. Probert presented the findings here Sunday at Digestive Diseases Week, the largest annual gathering of gastroenterologists in the world. “The machine will analyze these molecules and tell you what the infection is,” Probert explained. “Whether this can be used for other infectious diseases in the bowel we have yet to determine,” Probert said, “we’ve got a program ongoing to look at other things like cholera and typhoid and so forth.”
And yes, sometime in the future, your GI specialist might dispense with collecting stool samples altogether, asking you to simply emit a quick “flatus sample” instead. “We did at one stage discuss the possibility of a ‘smart lavatory,’ so that you could have a device that could sample the gas in that way,” Probert said with a smile.
I smell big profits for this technology!
