All articles in category: "Fuck you,fucking,fucktard,rant"
-
Nuff Said…
-
A Thought for a Sunday
-
Relative Brain Sizes
-
This Guy is Fuckin Sick!
Look at this set-up: He has a fuckin 50 cal. assault rifle. Who in their right mind needs that?
He also has 4 track balls, 4 head phones, 16 semi automatic guns (bet they are all autos!), 2 cell phones, and a game-boy. Oh, and the fact he has Japanese Yahoo running… he has to be a fuckin nut case and needs serious intervention.
-
Glenn Beck Without Make-up
-
Dear Dr. Laura
Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God’s Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that nowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination … End of debate.I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some other elements of God’s Laws and how to follow them.
1. Leviticus 25:44 states that I may possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can’t I own Canadians?
2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?
3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of Menstrual uncleanliness – Lev.15: 19-24. The problem is how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.
4. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord – Lev.1:9. The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?
5. I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself, or should I ask the police to do it?
6. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination, Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don’t agree. Can you settle this? Are there ‘degrees’ of abomination?
7. Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle-room here?
8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 9:27. How should they die?
9. I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?
10. My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev.19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? Lev.24:10-16. Couldn’t we just burn them to death at a private family affair, like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)
I know you have studied these things extensively and thus enjoy considerable expertise in such matters, so I’m confident you can help.
Thank you again for reminding us that God’s word is eternal and unchanging.
Your adoring fan,
The Sushi Bandit
-
The Status of Mankind
Fans of the Blog O’ Rama are in the top category -
2009 Slam/Bam Award – Kanye West, Fucktard of the Year
SLAM!
Taylor Swift got a surprise when she accepted the award for Best Female Video at MTV Video Music Awards.
After she beat out Lady Gaga, Sexy Katy Perry, Kelly Clarkson, Pink and Beyonce for the honor, she took to the stage and accepted the award. As she was thanking MTV, Sushi Bandit’s “Fucktard of the Year” Kanye West ran up on stage, stole her microphone, and said Beyonce had been robbed!
Beyonce? What? Are you fucking her??
Many thanks to MTV for providing a forum for the fucking retarded (I.E. Fucktard) to run free and embarrass and humiliate class acts like Swift. Kanye is not only an Extreme Fucktard but a really crappy rapper.
The 2009 Slam/Bam Award is presented to the Best and Worst of our culture for the year 2009 according to extensive polling of the exceptionally intelligent and thoughtful fans of Sushi Bandit’s Blog O’ Rama.
