things were so much simpler…
10. Organizers lobbying for new event: Yelling at contractor to hurry the hell up
9. Committee still hasn’t selected really gay theme for opening ceremonies
8. Makeshift olympic symbol made of five interlocking poppy seed bagels
7. Yesterday, Athens’ mayor said, “Wait, we’re hosting the Olympics?”
6. Thanks to mailroom blunder, all the steroids were shipped to crete
5. Builders brought only one hammer and a box of wood screws
4. Olympic visitors center to be ready in early 2006
3. The athletes have to share a gyro
2. All the “Greece” signs have a photo of John Travolta and Olivia Newton-John
1. “Olympic Stadium” just a bunch of lawn chairs in an Applebee’s parking lot