I like the part where Jaguar-boy’s monkey side-kick Squeech, looses the sacrificial jade knife.
Boy, is he in trouble now!
The recent decoding of a cryptic cup, the excavation of ancient Jerusalem tunnels, and other archaeological detective work has helped solve one of the great biblical mysteries: Who wrote the Dead Sea Scrolls and why?
“Jews wrote the Scrolls not to document religious text but to lay the foundation of Jewish comedy” said archaeologist Robert Paragill. “After extensive decoding it has now become apparent that many of the riddles turned out to be ancient stand-up comedy bits. Unfortunately many of the previous researchers were trying to find some religious significance in the text when in reality it was a very large compilation of mother-in-law jokes.”
Now that the holiday is over it is time to get back to being “real” Americans!
This public service message is brought to you by: www.imafuckingbiggot.com!
So they did a poll to see if native born, all American citizens know why we celebrate the 4th of July. They found that about three-quarters of residents — 74% — know the U.S. declared its independence from Great Britain in 1776. The bad news for the academic system — 26% do not. This 26% includes one-fifth who are unsure and 6% who thought the U.S. separated from another nation. Countries mentioned are France, China, Japan, Mexico, and Spain.
I think this is an AMAZING result. Considering that a good 10% of Americans probably have Alzheimer’s. Then another 5% are just regular crazy people. And probably 11% of Americans got offended that some annoying academic calling them up during dinner to ask inane question and answered, “The United States won its independence from the country of Bite Me.” You can see in the chart below how we all fared.
Funny that they didn’t ask “What country was most responsible in financing and supporting the American revolution with their troops and navy?” My guess is that only 3% know that answer.
So enjoy the 4th and be sure to eat a hot dog with some American fries!
…and they discover that inside of Sushi, they find even more Sushi. OMG!!
But because they were lame ass Neanderthal Netherlanders they call it “Vissen” which kinda sounds like the English word for “fish”.
Daniel Day-Lewis as Bill “The Butcher” Cutting in “The Gangs of New York”, one of the best movies of 2002. His character was modeled after William Poole (July 24, 1821 – March 8, 1855), also known as Bill the Butcher, was a member of the New York City gang the Bowery Boys, a bare-knuckle boxer, and a leader of the Know Nothing political movement.
click on it to make it bigger… kinda touching!