Whites Only
All articles in category: "fundie,god,idiot,insane,Rapture,religion"
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Rapture Express Lane to Heaven
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It’s the End of the World as we Know It
It’s the End of the World as we Know It, It’s the End of the World as we Know It, It’s the End of the World as we Know It, and I Feel Fine! – R.E.M.
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Neighbors’ Wi-Fi Password Must Be Something Good
CHICAGO — After exhausting all the obvious candidates, laptop user Ted Murphy concluded Thursday that the Wi-Fi password of the Ostermann family next door must be something pretty good. “Well, this is a tough little nut to crack,” Murphy said following a half hour of failed efforts to access the Internet without moving from his sofa. “It’s not ‘password,’ ‘ostermann,’ ’123456,’ or the name of any family member or pet. I’ll be damned—they really put some thought into this one.” If his next 20 or so attempts fail, Murphy said he would just try joining the network known only as Linksys
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The Status of Mankind
Fans of the Blog O’ Rama are in the top category -
Today in Hatred
Teabagger Apologizes for ‘Monkey God’ Comment, But Not for All His Other Comments
Earlier this week Mark Williams, “chairman” of the Tea Party Express bus line for Tea Party protest-bound patriots, wrote on his hate blog that Muslims all worship “the terrorists’ monkey god.” But it’s Hindus who worship a monkey god named Lord Hanuman (seen here, wearing Dior Couture), not muslins. After blaming his mistake on the baby scorpions who live inside his cranial cavity, eating his brain away, Williams apologized — but only to the Hindus, whose wonderful Lord Hanuman is nothing like Allah the Not-Monkey, who creates evil all the time.
Meanwhile, Williams has referred to the mosque being planned across from Ground Zero as a “monument to the 911 hijackers,” and has also called Islam “a 7th Century Death Cult coughed up by a psychotic pedophile and embraced by defective, tail sprouting, tree swinging, semi-human, bipedal primates with no claim to be treated like human beings or even desirable mammals for that matter.” Mark Williams probably won’t be getting any gingerbread imams or other gifts from Muslims this Ramadan.
How nice! -
Stupid Fucking Inventions #1
The “Pizza Scissors”
Ok, what the hell is wrong with a pizza cutting wheel? This tool is for people who can not touch the slice at any time. They use a knife and fork to eat it and never need a napkin or sleeve to clean up the mess. Anyone who needs this “tool” should never eat pizza, hot dogs, hamburgers, or engage in oral sex. If you like this “labor saving device” I truly feel sorry for you!
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Felonious Snowball Tossing
FEBRUARY 9–Felony snowball throwing charges have been leveled against two Virginia college students for allegedly pelting a city plow and an undercover police car during Saturday’s blizzard. Charles Gill and Ryan Knight, both 21, were nabbed by cops in Harrisonburg, where they attend James Madison University. According to police, the pair first targeted a city plow last Saturday afternoon. The driver responded by calling cops to report the frosty fusillade. When police responded to the scene in a bid to identify the assailants, their unmarked vehicle also came under an icy assault. Gill and Knight, a guard on JMU’s basketball team, were then apprehended and booked into jail for throwing missiles at occupied vehicles, a felony. If convicted of the felonious snowball tossing, the men each face between one and five years in prison, and a maximum $2,500 fine.
Thanks to Bush and Fox News everyone is now a terrorist!
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Angry man shoots lawn mower for not starting
AP Photo/Milwaukee County Sheriff’s departmentMILWAUKEE (AP) — A Milwaukee man was accused of shooting his lawn mower because it wouldn’t start. Keith Walendowski, 56, was charged with felony possession of a short-barreled shotgun or rifle and misdemeanor disorderly conduct while armed.
According to the criminal complaint, Walendowski said he was angry because his Lawn Boy wouldn’t start Wednesday morning. He told police quote, “I can do that, it’s my lawn mower and my yard so I can shoot it if I want.”
A woman who lives at Walendowski’s house reported the incident. She said he was intoxicated. Walendowski could face up to an $11,000 fine and six years and three months in prison if convicted.
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This is why I dont got to English Football matches anymore
and it aint even dark out! -
World Leaders Discuss Global Food Crisis Over 18-Course Meal
Summit that’s hard to swallow – world leaders enjoy 18-course banquet as they discuss how to solve global food crisis
(click on menu to enlarge)Just two days ago, Gordon Brown was urging us all to stop wasting food and combat rising prices and a global shortage of provisions.
But yesterday the Prime Minister and other world leaders sat down to an 18-course gastronomic extravaganza at a G8 summit in Japan, which is focusing on the food crisis.
The dinner, and a six-course lunch, at the summit of leading industrialised nations on the island of Hokkaido, included delicacies such as caviar, milkfed lamb, sea urchin and tuna, with champagne and wines flown in from Europe and the U.S.
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More People who Drink Too Much!
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Yes, We Are Idiots
My favorite photo from the Terri Schiavo protests.
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Family Kicked Out Of Buffet Restaurant For Wasting Food
DES MOINES, Iowa — Wendy Dershem may think twice before leaving that egg roll on her plate at her next Chinese buffet. The Des Moines woman, her boyfriend and her two children were kicked out of a restaurant last week after management accused her of leaving too much food on her plate.
“They told us we are not welcome there anymore,” said Dershem, a repeat customer at the Dragon House buffet. “We waste too much food. But the buffet is all you can eat. And you know kids. They won’t always eat everything and they want something else.”
Dershem said she paid her $5.95 fee but was abruptly told to leave after eating one plate of food. “They just take one bite and throw it away,” said cashier Lin Huyen. “They take four egg rolls and crab rangoon, take one bite of egg roll and throw the whole plate. That is wasting food.”
Dershem said she was shocked by the scolding and complained to management. Dragon House manager Kent Cao said his restaurant offers all you can eat buffet, not all you can waste. Dershem’s family took food, didn’t finish it and then piled on the same food again, he said. “Shes done that too many times,” Cao said. “We would welcome her back if she has respect and knows what she wants.”
