A sign of the times…
McDonald’s announced this week all Ronald McDonald’s would be laid-off because of the nationwide economic crisis. It is estimated that all 347 part and full-time Ronalds will get their final checks this Friday. McDonald’s Grimace’s are unaffected by this cost-cutting move since they were never paid to begin with.
OAK BROOK, IL—Responding to an over-abundance of low-cost beef, McDonald’s unveiled the new five-patty McCrazy Burger Tuesday. “A pound and a half of all-American beef topped with lettuce, tomatoes, and a dollop of our new peppercorn sauce,” said Melanie Haas, marketing director for the fast-food giant’s Northwest region.
“We promise you’ll go crazy from the delicious taste of 100 percent pure beef, and not from bovine spongiform encephalopathy!” Haas refused to comment on the exact geographic origin of the cattle used in the new sandwich.
Texas woman Waynetta Nolan has been jailed for 10 years for driving over and severely injuring a McDonald’s manager in the restaurant car park because she couldn’t have mayonnaise on her cheeseburger.