All articles in category: "fear,GOP,Michael Ian Black,Obama,politics,rant,Sarah Palin"
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Why I like Michael Ian Black
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The King of the Mole People Speaks!
Mmmmm. Mmmm. Muuuuuuummm. Mum.
Mmmmmmm. Mummmn. Mumummn. Sarah Palin is a whore.
Thank you…
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I’m Going To Quit Going To Costco
A Utah Costco took tomatoes off the shelves during a visit by Sarah Palin, after the Alaska Governor was pelted with the fruit on a stop at the Mall of America.
A lady stopped by the Salt Lake City Costco to do some shopping, unaware that Palin was scheduled to be there for a book signing. Unable to find any tomatoes, she was told by a clerk that there were no tomatoes that day.
No tomatoes? At Costco?
As she was leaving, she noticed a man with a store manager’s name tag and asked him why they had no tomatoes. He informed her the store did have tomatoes, but they were taken off the shelves while the quitter was there.
It turns out that Palin had been pelted with a tomato at an earlier stop on her book tour and the management at the Costco was determined it wouldn’t happen here.
Gee, I hope I don’t go to Costco the day Glenn Beck does his book signing. I wont be able to buy a super-sized box of donkey assholes.
P.S. her tongue sure looks crooked!
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Alaska, bitch, costco, Glenn Beck, GOP, news, politics, Sarah Palin, Tongue
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Sarah Palin Shits on Kennewick, Washington
Breaking: Sarah Palin Quits Turkey Trot 5K Race In Kennewick, Washington
Sarah Palin dropped out of a 5k race on Thanksgiving Day in Kennewick, Wash. The former vice presidential candidate and Alaska Governor quit the race because she wanted to avoid the crowds that were waiting for her at the end.
Palin originally announced that she would be running the race on Twitter.
Fuckin Twitter Quitter..
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Levi Johnston To Pose Nude For Gay Mag!
Sarah Palin’s least-favorite almost-son-in-law Levi Johnston will not vanish from the public eye, ever! He’s doing a photoshoot for a magazine called Playgirl, which, despite its gender specific name, is actually a site for gay men who like to look at photographs of other men, naked. There is nothing wrong with this, just ask the Alaska Family Council! And, you know, I am pretty happy that of the two unlikely Wasilla-based media sensations of September 2008, Sarah Palin is now an unemployed twitterer and baby maker Levi Johnston is the celebrity of September 2009. Who could’ve predicted it?
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Palin Pisses on Loren Leman, Alaska Family Council, and Pregnant Teens
Meg Stapleton, spokeswoman for an increasingly fragile and erratic unemployed publicity hound, had to once again explain at the very last minute how Sarah Palin would not be headlining an event that the event organizers thought she would be headlining.
This time it’s an event promoting an Alaska ballot measure aimed at making it illegal for teens to get an abortion without telling their parents. The Alaska Family Council has been advertising that Palin would give a speech and become the first official signer of the ballot petition tonight at ChangePoint, the Anchorage megachurch.
Meg Stapleton said Wednesday, in response about tonight’s event, that “this is the first we have ever heard of a speech.” She said Palin is out of state and won’t be there.
Anchorage homes received automated calls this week from former Lt. Gov. Loren Leman, saying, “I’m calling to ask you to meet with Gov. Sarah Palin and me this Thursday for an event to protect young girls facing abortion decisions.”
I guess she is too busy writing her new book “How to take out Obama’s Nazi-Socialist Death Panels from a Helicopter”
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Sarah Palin Pisses On Ronald Reagan’s Grave
Sarah Palin is so super-maverick-y now that she won’t even honor her vow to make a speech at the Ronald Reagan Presidential Library, where she was scheduled to speak at the Simi Valley Republican Ladies Group Fund-raiser for Republicans, a very widely reported exciting event that was to be her first public appearance since just quitting the governorship of Alaska because fuck those people, right?
The Ventura County Star reports: Just days after officially stepping down as governor of Alaska, former GOP vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin is dropping out of an advertised speaking engagement in Simi Valley ….
It was on Thursday that Palin’s spokeswoman Meghan Stapleton made public the news of the decision not to attend the event via Palin’s Facebook page. Up to 900 people were expected to attend the event at $100 a ticket for members and $150 for non-members, but media had been barred from the occasion.
Facebook! She fucks these people over via Facebook. She’ll probably take Bristol out of her will via Twitter.
Meg, Palin’s loyal nut-case sidekick and spokesperson, said Palin bailed this time because she has so much, uhm, work to do. Commitments, too. Work and commitments. Also. Says the Ventura paper, “It is unclear what those other work and commitments are.”
Hahahahah. Why does lazy quitter Sarah Palin hate Republican ladies? And why must she desecrate the grave of Ronald Reagan?
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Republican Reaction to Palin’s Resignation
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Bye Bye Bitch
Sarah “I’m not a quitter” Palin resigns 1 1/2 years before her term ends. She claims that she has become “Blood Sport” for the press. Well Sarah, maybe you now know how it feels to be a moose or bear killed from a helicopter, Bitch!
Alaska, GOP, news, politics, Sarah Palin
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BREAKING: Bush Declares a State of Emergency
This just in: George Bush has just announced a State of National Emergency and has appointed himself Emperor of A’merica.
This action is due to the failure of the war on terror, faith based initiatives, and no child left behind. Standing along with our new exalted leader during the announcement were Cheney, Gonzalez, Chertoff, Bolton, Rice, Card, Palin, Rumsfeld, Fleischer, McClellan, Snow, Rove, Roberts, Miers, Ridge, Ashcroft, Paulson, and DeLay.
Emperor Bush has declared martial law and directed the joint chiefs of staff to initiate operation “drop your pants” where all Americans will get an identity chip imbedded up their ass. All who refuse will be shot on the spot. Also, by decree the inauguration of that “Boy from Hawaii” is canceled just like all the election results, nation-wide.
When asked by a reporter how this can be legal he responded “Cause I’m the decider. Now drop your pants!”
P.S. it could happen, he still has one more day!
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Sarah Palin Advises Blagojevich to Sell Obama’s Senate Seat on eBay
“Now, you put a senate seat up for auction, together with a private jet, and you can really make enough dough to keep one in designer clothes.”
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Sarah Palin Offered $2M To Appear In Adult Film
THIS IS A TRUE STORY!
After all the commemorative Day After Election Day newspapers are bought, will there be any profit left to be wrung from the 2008 Election Experience? One visionary named Cezar Capone believes there remains one growth sector: Sarah Palin-themed pornography. Judging by how well the first foray was received, he’s probably right! And even if he isn’t, he’s at least bold about making a dent in the marketplace: in a letter posted to his PalinSuperMILF website [SFW, by the way, it's just a letter], he offers the Alaska Governor $2 million large to star in her own show, Zack and Miri style:Please let this writing serve as an official request. In light of the recent election results, Cezar Capone Productions would like to make you a formal offer of $2,000,000 to star in an adult “MILF” production. I am sure you are unaware that Cezar Capone is the KING of all “MILF” films. This one time offer also guarantees that you can walk away from our beautiful set with a newer and sexier wardrobe to make up for the $150,000 worth of clothes you had to give back to the GOP.
You may be asking yourself why you should even consider such a crazy proposition? The answer is simple; this film will be shot in high definition, and be a glossy, adult production starring a beautiful mother recognized by all of America as well as the rest of the world -the most desirable woman over 40! The film will be distributed internationally on DVD, as well as the website will reside on palinsupermilf.com
And this part might just be the dealmaker: We have taken into consideration that there may be some hesitation to star in an adult production with male talent other than your husband so we are also prepared to kick in an extra $100,000.00 for your husband Todd to star in the movie with you, along with a brand new Arctic Cat snowmobile for him to sweeten the deal.
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Tomorrow is National "Burn a Sarah Palin Picture Day"
We need a CLEANSING!!
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Sarah Palin Passes Out at GOP Fund-Raiser!
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Palin’s Debate Flow Chart
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Sarah Palin Nude
Here is the artist Bruce Elliott, with his painting of Sarah Palin in the nude. It is now hanging at Chicagao’s Old Town Ale House. Note the wonderful bear rug. The classic nudie prop!
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Is Sarah Palin the Neocon’s Madonna?
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Juneau – The Movie
