(artist’s sketch of the murder scene)
Today Mr. “Winnie-The-Pooh” suffered a fatal attack from known assailants in the hundred acres wood. His life long friends and former partners named “Tigger”, “Piglet”, and “Rabbit” (no last names) are accused in masterminding his and his lieutenant Eyore’s murder in order to take over his “Hunny” trade.
He recently had monopolized Cheshire county’s trade in high quality Hunny distribution and according to sources was threatening to corner the market throughout Somerset. Implicated in the disappearance of Christopher Robin in 1979 he was brought to trial but never convicted.
Winnie-The-Pooh: 1926-2010