NEW HAVEN, CT—Mindy Neuberg, 29, ignored an instance of sexual harassment “just to avoid the hassle,” the attractive writer reported Tuesday.
“This bouncer at Sweeney’s pulled me out of the line to ‘frisk me for weapons,’ and after calling me ‘sweet-cheeks,’ he spent way too much time checking me for a gun,” Neuberg said. “I should have complained, but I would’ve had to get his name, find the manager, and make my case… It just didn’t seem worth it.”
Neuberg said that her decision to drop the issue was also influenced by the fact that, “after getting publicly felt up by some meathead,” she really needed to get to the bar for a gin and tonic.
WASHINGTON, DC—In a policy initiative released Monday, the chairman of the House Inappropriations Committee suggested that the women of America start to dress a little more provocatively.
“Why don’t they wear some shorter skirts?” U.S. Rep. Bill Young (R-FL) said. “They’ve got nice legs. They should show ‘em off.” Young said he could offer American females even more suggestions if Congress would underwrite a fact-finding tour to Miami Beach.